Body Acceptance Journey

When I finished high school, I was told by my pediatrician that I should lose some weight, that my extra weight was good for being a defensive lineman, but it was not going to be good for the rest of my life. He put that our there to me but did not weigh in on how to lose weight as though I should just know and it would be kind of easy. Since then I've had up and down struggles with my weight and wanted to share my journey of weight loss and relationship with my body. 

At the start of my journey, I had a funny experience,  I was told by a mentor that counting calories was the only way that anyone can lose weight. I was also seeing a therapist who told me that the only way he had seen people lose weight is if they get addicted to cardiovascular exercise. 

Clear as mud! I had two completely different approaches to weight loss. I started to realize that there is no right way to lose weight and that it is often a difficult process. For me, weight loss and coming into a new relationship with my body has meant addressing past trauma, finding ways other than food to comfort myself, making time for exercise, and taking care of myself more holistically. If you're stuck about where to start your journey of weight loss like I have been at different times in my life, here are a few things to try to help with that.

Address emotional eating with a therapist. A lot of times people eat as comfort and do that kind of unconsciously. Finding other ways to meet those emotional needs can reduce some of the urges to overeat. There are many things at work with emotional eating. Eating and overeating can cause our bodies to release dopamine and other hormones that make us feel good and reduce pain. So, addressing any underlying pain can reduce the pressure to find comfort thus reducing the chance of finding this in unhealthy ways. This can mean something as big as addressing trauma and as simple as getting better sleep. Sleeping well helps us feel good and, when we are rested, we have better impulse control. We can also replace the comfort we get from eating with other comforting behaviors that don’t involve food. Working with a good therapist can really help you in this process of identifying healthier ways to comfort yourself.

As I’ve said in other posts part of my experience was being sexually abused. This led to some dislike of my body and a lot of pain to address. This was not something I could do on my own and I made great strides in this with the support of a skilled therapist.  

Change distorted thinking and associations with food. One helpful, though slightly obnoxious, resource isThe Beck of Diet Solution authored by Judith S. Beck., PH.D. This book provides a cognitive behavioral approach to losing weight with a lot of really specific pragmatic things you can do. What I like most about this book it further confirms that there is no one right way to lose weight. In the text, Beck discusses limiting eating, and how to change your thinking about eating. She says to make a couple of different plans and when one starts to fail, move on to the next one. This book is also very helpful in exploring distorted thinking about food and eating and providing some tangible ways to counteract this distorted thinking. 

Regular exercise. Exercise alone doesn't help to burn more calories (our bodies are complicated systems that have many ways of managing our energy use so adding exercise doesn’t equate to an exact expenditure of calories), its real benefits come from helping our body deal with stress, the difficult emotions that might cause emotional eating, and resetting our hunger cues. I have often found that I feel better in my body when I am exercising and that some of the chronic back and shoulder pain I have is significantly reduced. 

Making exercise something that we do frequently usually requires some combination of making it convenient, enjoyable, social, and routine. That is one reason I like Body Weight Muscle. His story is very interesting. After being in a pretty serious motorcycle accident he had multiple surgeries on his leg and got really out of shape during that time. Eventually he ended up with his leg being amputated below the knee. During his recovery, he kind of rediscovers fitness and gets back into that and it becomes really important to him. The thing I like about his perspective is simple exercise, it can be all body weight with no equipment. So, it's easy to do and can be done anywhere. It also can be short, 15-20 minutes, which makes it easier to squeeze in regularly. 

Making exercise social, running with others, finding a Yoga, Pilates, Lifting, Cycling class or club that you like can make a huge difference and has the added benefit that being social is also good for us. This can help with the accountability of making it routine, often getting back into exercise we think of the hassle and forget the feeling of accomplishment we have when we exercise (a common distorted way of thinking) and having some extra pull to get us there and moving can be essential. 

Lastly, I would like to touch on reducing calories. I know this is a loaded area and in our culture we often normalize disordered eating. It is font helpful to check in with your a registered dietician or an eating disorder specialist to make sure that you are doing this in a healthy way.  I am not encouraging a specific way of reducing calories as I know each person experiences this differently and some kinds of counting calories can lead people to unhealthy swings in weight. There are many good and free calorie counter apps and some serious problems with some paid versions. Look for something that will be supportive without a lot of reminders or warnings that can push towards compulsive behavior.  

Another way of reducing calorie intake is intermittent fasting. This is one that has worked best for me. For whatever reason I do better when I skip breakfast. I always felt guilty about this because “breakfast is the most important meal of the day” an adage I am sure we have all heard. This kind of cuts against the sense of only eating when you are hungry and was a confusing disconnect for me to reconcile. 

 There is a doctor that I discovered who is an endocrinologist in an obesity clinic in Canada, and he talks about using fasting to reduce caloric intake and sort of reset some of your body's hunger cues and things like that. He has several videos out and you can check one out here. 

I am no expert on weight loss and as I mentioned earlier there is no right way of weight loss, the resources and tips I discussed have all been part of my journey. My intention for this post is to encourage you to find your own health path that will work for you. If you find yourself getting stuck, it might be a good time to talk to a therapist and see what else is going on and what other ways you can address these issues. I would like to end this blog with a few affirmations that you can cite daily to jump start your health journey. 

• I am learning to love my body the way that it is.

• I am taking small steps towards health.

• I am getting better and stronger every day.

• I am on my health journey for myself and not for outsiders’ opinions of me.

• I am enough.