Global Men’s summit on Fatherhood
Hunter is excited to speak at the upcoming virtual online Global Men's Summit on Fatherhood.
You can read a little bit about who he is and his topic for the summit below.
Hunter is a Professional Counselor and Certified AEDP therapist who runs a small group counseling practice in Charlottesville, Va. He is passionate about his clinical work and mentoring and supervising younger therapists in the field. Much of Hunter’s work involves healing relational trauma which is easily passed down through families. This feels especially important to him as he does work to address these issues in his own life while he raises his two children; a daughter age 7 and a son age 3.
Some of Hunter’s relational trauma comes down through both sides of his family. His father’s father Otis was thrust into a burdensome role when his own father was killed in a hunting accident when Otis was 13. He did the best he could, but being the oldest child and suddenly taking on a lot of responsibility for his family during the Great Depression, then getting caught up in World War II, left its marks on him. One way this showed up was that he hugged his son Russ, Hunter’s father, for the first time when Russ was 42 years old. Otis was very responsible and showed up in matters of material support, but emotions were not something he easily engaged with. This contributed to Russ’s struggles. Russ made a significant suicide attempt when Hunter was 4 years old.
On his mother’s side his grandfather, Michael, did engage emotionally and was very affectionate. You knew he loved you, when he was there. Drinking and a hot temper kept him from steady work and he moved often. He did not confront these demons in his own life and that kept him from being a stable support to his children and grandchildren.
In the United States the culture of masculinity asked men to numb their emotions so that they can do their jobs without complaint. This leaves men with a lot of difficulty engaging emotionally, leaving anger as the main emotion allowed to men. From his own life and in his clinical work Hunter sees the damage our culture has done to men and the damage it continues to do in families. The choices of Otis, to be responsible but disengaged, or Michael, not confronting his demons, are still common expressions of fatherhood today. In his talk Hunter will explore how men can do their own emotional work so that they can engage with their children when their children are struggling. It is impossible to prevent our children from suffering, but we can show up for them so they do not have to suffer alone.